My take on the new nikon d5000

What are nikon thinking? an articulated screen – that’s going to break in 2 minutes.
And still 720p video? even canons cheap offering has 1080p video. Come on Nikon what are you thinking?
Still no proper Auto focus with video mode which makes it next to useless for any decent video and hence just a gimmick to try and get people to buy on headline items.
And worse of all – no AF on old lenses – only get that with AF-S lenses.
I think we should go back to shooting film, you knew where you were then.

I’m going back to working out why my website’s broken…. anyone any good with steam and valves?

Updating my main website

Now some of you may be having problem with my website right now – this is due to me moving to a better hosting provider who uses film and not the fancy digital.

tons of new nikon dSLRs coming soon

There are lots of new nikon dSLRs coming soon, including a d300 replacement with the all important HD video mode – so you can try to hold the thing still and see all the pores and hairs on everything you film. Real pro’s would of course use a full 35mm film movie camera together with a leica lens.

of course i plan on buying it so i can shoot my family movies on it. but don’t you buy it or you’ll ruin it for me.

Oh – and i’m sorry i didn’t mention the new canon 500d – i was out shooting film like a pro instead of reading about the latest camera release.

PS I’m still working on that ebay article i spoke about last year – but – don’t email me about it or it will take me even longer.

Ripped off again

I ordered some special gold lens caps – on ebay for 30 cents, and when they arrived turns out they were fools gold – i can’t believe it.

Who do they think i am? I’m the fake ken rockwell!

I’m going to go and get my leica and shoot some rolls of film – almost as good as my d40…..

D40 and D3x

I know i said not to buy a d3x and i know i then went and bought one so you guys didn’t have to.

and i know i keep saying how great a d40 is because of it’s pro level 1/500 sync speed.

and i know there is still no sign of my ebay article, but, hey you get what you pay for.

i’m going to buy the new 35/1.8 DX lens and the new d400 just so you guys don’t have to, man i’d good.

Went to death Valley

I went to death valley recently and loads of people were shooting with the latest digital medium format system; heavy big primes, i used my uber-pro film setup of course, i used an old classic APS-C polaroid instamatic camera.

Noone needs the massive resolution of these latest digital whiz-bang cameras – My film gets me way better results and for real pro’s like me then i don’t need the latest $8000 nikon d3x, so remember to keep boycotting it.

see you soon!

Christmas Over – new articles due soon…

Well it’s nearly the new year.

Look forward to my articles coming up, to include:

• how to make toast (a follow up for the popular boiling an egg article)
• how to make enough money to buy any camera you want
• how to make sure every lens is fantastic no matter what.
• how cameras with more megapixels will NEVER beat film.

Stay tuned.

My Canon 5d mark 2 is making hundreds of photos, i’m sure glad i bought mine now and got the banding and black dots. Canon’s going down faster than the price of the d3x at the moment, but, still everything is great, my good buddy fake chuck westfal said so whilst i was talking to him on his phone – he called me up and told me his phone is broken now though, so don’t try and call him about your 5d mark 2 problems – i’m sure canon will sort it just like they did the 1d mark 3 AF problems though.

My D3X is due anyday now – and i’m sure it will be worth it (not in money as it’s now worth about $7000 – the folks at a internet forum site think it should be less) – but that early adopter amount will let me sort out all the glitches so you don’t have to. God I’m good!

Happy Holidays and get ready for the new year in style here at thefakekenrockwell.com!

PS Don’t forget to donate lots of money to me and buy stuff using my links!

Keep me posting

Being the starving professional that i am I need more money to buy film and keep my family alive so i can post photos with my amazing d40 (which i’ve single handedly made a success – no thanks to nikon) so due to popular demand all you readers out there here is my paypal details:

Donate to me here

Nikon d3x now in stock and shipping

Like i said i’m getting one of these after saying i wouldn’t.

Obviously i’m only doing it so i can review it for you guys. I was so impress having a quick play with FakeChucks D3x i changed my mind. Yeah i know it’s just a sony 24mpx sensor dropped into a d3 body, and yeah i know that 14-bit NEFs take me to 1.8fps, but, what can you do. At least we know it won’t suffer from black dots or AF problems. I really think it’s goodbye canon now.

My d3x is on the way now – i can’t wait to pair the latest and greatest 24mpx body with my dog-chew 100 year old lens i crowbar’d off an old holga i found in the loft – it will take full advantage of it i think. Of course it would be better on a holga or box-brownie as a professional photographer could easily get better pictures than a newbie with his d3x and 14-24, 24-70, 70-200 combo. The vignetting on the 70-200 alone makes it worth it.

Anyway – back to may ebay article – don’t forget to click on my links for amazon and B&H and ebay.

thanks!

Canon announce that they will announce something

Like i was saying the other day, canons “fix” is to announce that they will have some kind of fix whilst they investigate. It’s broadly along the lines of what i said.
They don’t know what the problem is (like with their 1-series cameras).
So at the moment Canon have a choice of 1-series which can’t focus or 5d mark 2 which has banding and black dots. Merry Christmas Fake Chuck! you’re gonna be in for a rough ride. What a bad time to release a camera that has trouble with christmas lights.
I wonder if anyone will be quite so keen to buy the next new canon?
Anyway… back to my ebay article it’s up to 2000000 pages now and counting.

Canons announcement (for what it’s worth)

To Owners of the EOS 5D Mark II Digital SLR Camera

Thank you for using Canon products.

We have learned that some users of the Canon EOS 5D Mark II digital SLR camera have identified two types of image quality phenomena that appear under certain shooting conditions.

1. “Black dot” phenomenon (the right side of point light sources becomes black)
2. Vertical banding noise

We are currently investigating and analysing the causes, and examining measures to reduce or eliminate these phenomena by providing correction firmware. An announcement will be made on www.canon-europe.com as soon as measures have been determined.

Details of the phenomena and shooting conditions under which they are likely to occur are as follows.

1. “Black dot” phenomenon (the right side of point light sources becomes black)
When shooting night scenes, the right side of point light sources (such as lights from building windows) may become black. The phenomenon may become visible if the images are enlarged to 100% or above on a monitor or if extremely large prints of the images are made.

2. Vertical banding noise
If the recording format is set to sRAW1, vertical banding noise may become visible depending on the camera settings, subject, and background.
▪ Vertical banding noise is not noticeable if the recording format is set to sRAW2.
▪ Vertical banding noise does not occur if the recording format is set to RAW or JPEG.
▪ Noise can be reduced if C.Fn II-3: Highlight tone priority is set to 0: Disable.

Canon apologizes for any inconvenience caused and thanks photographers for their patience.